My name is Melony Hill, during the course of my lifetime, I have been unfortunate enough to play multiple roles in the cycle that is domestic violence. As a young girl, I grew up in a home controlled by a very strict and domineering step-father. My mother was so emotionally, physically ad mentally abused that she was barely allowed to think for herself, let alone plan her own movements and actions. Like many abusers, my step-father took my mother on early, he was almost 10 years older than she at the same time. In an effort to properly groom her, he did what abusive souses have done for years, isolated her. First, he took her out of town, away from anyone who could or cared to help her, abandoning me in Baltimore with relatives. When they came back for me, life was hell. I constantly dealt with punishments and spankings while watching my mother be beat, put down and controlled mentally and by force.
I resolved at a young age that I would never allow any man to have that kind of control over me. In fact, the one and only time I had a boyfriend who thought that he was going to hurt me and walk away, I pressed charges to the fullest extent. From then forth, for many years, i became the aggressor. I made sure guys knew up front what I had lived through and witnessed and that I was not going to ever allow it in my life. I lived by a “get you before you get me” mentality. That was dangerous.
Hurt people hurt people, it’s not just a statement that you hear thrown around, it’s true. Instead of getting the help I needed I became the thing I despised most, an abuser. I found myself putting my my men in check, and not afraid to swing if they didn’t know their place. I’ve gotten better now, therapy really helped Me to deal with my fear, because I’ve realized that’s what it was. i was so afraid of being weak that I became a bully myself. I’m glad I was strong enough to get the help I needed. i don’t want to hurt anyone, I just don’t want to be a victim.